There is a kind of romance that I find both creepy and downright un-fun in roleplaying video games, almost without exception--the dreaded therapymance. I'm a freaking hero(ine). I'm a Jedi, Sith, Warden, Bhaalspawn, Knight Captain, Spectre, etc. I kick ass, take names, make friends, make enemies, make love, save the known universe, shoot lightning at fools, and do it all with epic style. Nowhere in my job description is "psychologist for crazy people."
NPCs, I will happily be your friend or even lover. I will snipe, spill drinks on the Citadel, snark, eat cheese, sing songs, hunt devils, and consult space hamsters with you. I'll be a shoulder to cry on; I will support and enable your growth as a person to the best of my ability. Because that's what friends do. But I will not be your therapist. I will not sit there and listen to you whine incessantly about your dead spouse, estranged child, daddy issues, mommy issues, dead dog, or toe bunions. I will happily help you find a therapist, but if you can't deal with your problems in a reasonably constructive manner without sobbing on my shoulder every other conversation, I'm kicking you out. You're just not cool enough to be around me. END OF LINE.
NPCs, I will happily be your friend or even lover. I will snipe, spill drinks on the Citadel, snark, eat cheese, sing songs, hunt devils, and consult space hamsters with you. I'll be a shoulder to cry on; I will support and enable your growth as a person to the best of my ability. Because that's what friends do. But I will not be your therapist. I will not sit there and listen to you whine incessantly about your dead spouse, estranged child, daddy issues, mommy issues, dead dog, or toe bunions. I will happily help you find a therapist, but if you can't deal with your problems in a reasonably constructive manner without sobbing on my shoulder every other conversation, I'm kicking you out. You're just not cool enough to be around me. END OF LINE.
I know that simulating social relationships in video games is difficult. I know it's complicated. But for the love of Pete, Biggus Dickus, and Prince Humperdink, can I please have a video game in which I don't need to hold my love interest's hand while they sob about how their daddy didn't love them enough? Is that so much to ask?
LOL yes... I agree. Haha, I remember playing Mass Effect and didn't get any of the "romance relationships" because I was like "we're on a mission here, and no I don't need a shoulder to cry on. Let's get this done!"
ReplyDeleteI think this is one of the reasons I got sick of RPGs... all those awkward moments where the characters are telling you their life story... it's not very realistic, nor is it fun. So, I believe we're in complete agreement.
One game that I actually respect the love interest in is Half Life 2. Alyx is pretty hardcore, and the most she's ever asked for psychologically is a moment to rest and catch her breath before we continue killing all the zombies. (Plus, after the ending of Episode 2, I think *I* might need a shoulder to cry on. Instead of just telling you about the characters and their emotional trauma, they show you and give you good reasons to feel that way yourself.) And it's mostly action, doing awesome things, no wandering around trying to talk to everyone in the town.
I wonder what an RPG game would be like without this cliche'd element.